so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
