i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
