Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Jerry, you need to find god
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
