You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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