We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
