THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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