Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
