dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
