I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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