recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
