i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
