didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
