What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
