Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
