you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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