What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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