i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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