Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Come see our sink grown plant.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
