I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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