The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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