I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
