I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
