How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
And then he peed in my hair
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