Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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