Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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