You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Acid is not a monday night drug
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
