Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
