Life is so much better after having sex.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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