I wish I could punch you in the face.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
