am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
