Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize