I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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