if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Damn victory sex feels great
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
