I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
