once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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