Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
