Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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