I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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