She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
