You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Small penises have feelings too.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
