He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
