i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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