I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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