I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
