I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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