do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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