Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
