Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
