Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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