last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
