Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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